Q/A – P.O.V on book. Any corrections of ideas?

Many of you might be asking this same question so I’m posting with the answer here. Enjoy. The question is from Rebecca


“Are you in looovee with him, Clarissa Ann?” My best friend Audrina asked me on the first day of summer. All I could do was blush. She was rambling on about her older brother, Oliver. I’d had the biggest crush on him for as long as I could remember. He was sweet, smart, and over the top sexy. I laughed it off, not denying it. Audrina knew I was in love with him. She didn’t get mad, she thought it was cute. We grabbed snacks and went up to her room. I stayed the night there all the time, my parents were rarely home. But even when they were I wasn’t noticed. This was like my home away from home. My mom, Elaine, is a real estate broker who travels all the time. My dad, Ryan, is a big time bank owner who travels a lot too. Honestly, I raised myself. Along with the help of our house keeper, Rita. Audrina interrupted my poor family thoughts, “Do you want to go to a movie tonight?” “Sure. I’ll pay.” I always paid, every time I went somewhere with Audrina. I always felt like I needed to. Especially with how nice they have been to me over the years. I pulled on a new pair of designer shorts I got from Abercrombie and Fitch with a cute flowery blouse. “Ready?” I asked Audrina who wore a pair of the same shorts (a present from me) and a pink tank. She nodded. I grabbed the keys to my baby blue punch buggy convertible. Where we live you only had to be fifteen to drive. I’d gotten my car when I was fourteen. A lovely present from my absent parents. We walked into the movie theater laughing at some guy who thought he would try and be cool by pulling off a stunt on his skateboard. Too bad his missed the rail. Ouch. “Two, for that new scary movie, please.” I handed my gold credit card to the cashier. “Hey girls.” The cashier said, I looked up from my wallet and saw Oliver behind the desk. “I didn’t know you worked here.” I said casually. He swiped my card and handed it back to me. “Yup. Summer job. Lucky me.” A sarcastic smile crept over his face. “Enjoy your movie.” We walked over to the concession stand. I grabbed Audrina’s arm, squeezing her. “I’m guessing you forgot to mention that your brother worked here?” She laughed. Not saying anything. I handed the girl at the counter my credit card. “Thanks.” I said as we were handed our popcorn and drinks and three boxes of gummy worms. Audrina jumped a billion times during the movie, I was laughing. She got so easily scared. “You jumped so many times in that movie!” I said to her. She was trying not to laugh as we got into my car. My car was blasting Taylor Swift from the speakers. I pulled into the driveway and Audrina ran into the house, “If I don’t run something will kill me!” She explained as we walked up the stairs to her room. I just smiled and nodded. Later that night I woke up having to use the restroom. I walked quietly to the bathroom down stairs, not wanting to wake anyone up. It was pitch black in the house. I couldn’t see a dang on thing. I put my hands out in front of me so if I ran into anything I hopefully wouldn’t make to much noise. I felt my way down the stairs. On my way through the hallway I ran into something, “Ouch.” I recognized Oliver’s voice instantly. “Sorry!” I whispered. “I can’t see anything.” I heard him chuckle. I put my arms back to my side. I felt uncomfortable in the silence because I couldnt tell what he was doing, all I could hear was his breathing. “Well, I’m going to the bathroom. Excuse me.” I felt my way around him, but stopped when his hand wrapped around my waist. My heart started beating really fast as he pulled me to him. I was facing him directly, “Oliver?” He leaned his head down and kissed me. I was shocked but I kissed him back. His hands were soft and warm, he cupped my chin. I don’t know how long the kiss went on for, but it seemed like forever. When he pulled back I was breathing hard and I could tell he was too. I caught a glimpse of his face from a passing cars headlights, he looked satisfied, happy. Then all of a sudden he rubbed my arm and made his way up the stairs. I made my way to the bathroom, closing the door quietly. I looked at my ecstatic expression in the mirror. HE KISSED ME! I kept saying it over and over again as I went back upstairs. I had trouble falling sleep that night because of how much energy that kiss had brought me. The next morning I woke up to Audrina gone. I went downstairs and couldn’t find anybody. I saw a note on the table, Clarissa I had a doctor’s appointment and then my mom is taking me to a late b day lunch then shopping. Sorry I didn’t tell ya this morning. You looked like you were sleepin’ good!! I’ll be home before dinner. If you need anything Oliver is home. Probably s

Answer: It’s OK but it’s a little UN-realistic. First of all you can’t your license when you’re fifteen doesn’t matter what state you live in. Maybe you can get your permit but you can’t get your license. Secondly please tell me this in not the first chapter in your story. I mean seriously they kissed already???? Don’t you think thats a little fast? I mean this chapter would be good if it was maybe like the 10th chapter. You need to build up to the kiss and don’t make they kiss like almost immediately

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